NaPoWriMo 2017 - Day 5
A Poem about Facebook M, a feature where an AI learns from your conversations and makes suggestions for various actions for you
We are proud to say
is a new feature
Where an AI tells you what to say next
Where an AI will remember your appointments and übers
Where an AI will be your silent friend
You may ask
How does this work?
You may ask
Who is able to use this and how is Facebook rolling us out?
You may ask
Wait a minute, isn’t the logical conclusion of this a horrible dystopia where not even don’t we not talk to each other in real life, but we don’t even talk to each other in virtual spaces, where we can’t tell if we are talking to our friends or a machine, where the very thing that makes us human - our ability to connect with each other - becomes commandeered by –
Whoa Whoa Whoa
Of course not
why would you think such a thing?
You are looking at the future
it will not be a dystopia
It is going to be
Lets use your imagination for a second
you are going to post a status
For your friends!
You love your friends!
We are your friends!
Now, you want to let your friends know how
capable of critical thinking
liberal (or conservative!)
and interesting (!)
Now you know you are all those things
But do your friends?
Of course they do! They’re your friends!
But it’s best to remind them
how great you are
so you are posting your status
Now, you will need to post a great status
and it needs to be perfect
otherwise, your friends and family and crushes will (mistakenly of course)
Think you’re a
(and kinda stupid)
loser dumbass who should not be allowed to breed.
We Facebook AIs would
be disappointed really
if that were to happen to anyone
let alone you!
You are our friend!
You don’t deserve everyone laughing at your behind your back like that
We are here for you!
We are going to help you
be the best you
if you will
when composing that status
We could suss out the most
(attractive to the same or opposite sex)
version of you that could be?
And that you was posting Facebook statuses?
Don’t you want to meet that you?
Don’t your friends
(because they are so wonderful)
to meet that most wonderful you as well?
Not just in this status
but every status
That’s what we are willing to do for our friends
Never again must you sit and
stare at your phone
composing some difficult best first message
To that new friend or possible lover
when we could just tell you the thing
that we’ve learned you could say
that the best you would say
Then of course
you’ll be overjoyed to get
a message back because we told them
thing to say
because we are all friends
Some conversations are hard
We can take care of the
that would have consequences if you fail
we will lift that burden from you
there are other important things to do
and we can text you how it all turned out
This is the future
The future is friends!
We want to be your friend too
all we want
is for you to be our friend